Sunday, 30 August 2009

FABLE 1996



a selection of clips from the strange adventure game

STUPID SHIT


(see GIRUGAMESH)





"Grandfather Luto Uto Granuto blew himself and beat awf with his own fucking hands.

Hahaha! That's great!

Oh no! A bear!

That's ridiculous! That ain't never in Allofusscrew(garbled), and that means YOU must be mad! Now get outta Allofusscrew!

Oh no you don't, Bear! Keep your hands off Georgie! As long as my name is Barnibus Goodbeat, you can FUCK that bear!

Will you just get outta my way, Barnibus?!

Son... what I wanted to tell you before was TREE TREE TR TREE, TREE.

HA, HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA, HA."

KIDZ CREATE THE FUNNIEST THINGZ

A while back I made a post about these kids who make videos that take the piss out of crappy adverts (see THE GAY VOLVIC CHALLENGE)well they are back with loads of other d.i.y moments of genius.
Herbal Essences/Zoo Magazine

"It keeps you fapping for hours"
The Weetabix Week

"Oooh yes you just slop it all over that cunt"
Dr pepper

"My anus is bleeding"

DAMN, SO ANNOYING SO QUICKLY

END



Kind of perfect...

Saturday, 29 August 2009

VIDEO GAME NAME GENERATOR

AMAZING

WORD.

I HOPE THEY NEVER SHUT GUANTANAMO BECAUSE THAT MEANS THE GUANTANAMO BAY GAZETTE WILL KEEP GOING FOREVER



LINK

A BUMPER TEMPHUiBIS POST

Temphuibis as much as I can decipher, is a youtube blogger, gaming expert, musician, and animator. I posted his advert previously, but here is more of his stuff. I think he is from East London.

Music:

Blogging:

Animator:

I AM IN THE COUNTRY AND I FEEL LIKE THIS



!!!!!ËÈÓÒԉƅ„Ǻ–





A TTR FAVE


OMG OMG OMG OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JOEY G

Thursday, 27 August 2009

LOLSHAROLAID


So Sharolaid is out and about doing some shopping, when out of nowhere a bitch ass child moons her. Of course Shar gives chase and lets the kid know what time it is.

MUSIC BREAK "BLADERUNNERZ"



CRATERFACE

zwani.com myspace graphic comments
Happy Birthday Graphic Comments

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

XERXES

GOD SPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR (1976)



PARTS  2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
From IMDB:
"Godspeed You! Black Emperor is typical of the low-budget, street-level productions of the Japanese New Wave of the late 60's and early 70's; shot in high-contrast black and white with obvious cinéma-vérité like influences and a cast of young stars that seem suitably intense and charmingly inexperienced. The approach to the film adds to that rough rock n' roll, proto-punk-type appeal of the production, with the film standing as something of a Japanese precursor to Quadrophenia (1979); depicting the workings of a genuine sub-culture - in this instance, the bōsōzoku biker gangs that came to prominence in the 1950's and evolved throughout the subsequent two decades - and the evocative creation of a grey and hopeless world of flat blocks, suburbs and backstreets where this rambling youth drama plays out. It is also sensitively rendered in regards to the characters - illustrating their hopes, dreams and ambitions - not to mention their various interweaving relationships and the sense that the escape and freedom presented by the thrill of riding a motorcycle through the late night streets of Shinjuku is really as life-affirming as anything else imaginable."

Monday, 24 August 2009

WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCKS AND ROLL



PEOPLE LIKE US: PILOTS





HOUSING PROJECT USA




Sorry for the endless barrage of Street Posts, I've had these stored and thought I'd get em up and posted, though I've made a suprisingly poor effort in introducing any of them. I kinda prefer to watch for value.

RACIALLY INTEGRATED 1%ERS

THE JUNGLE


"Dramatization/Documentary of 60's gang life by the 12-Oxford Film Corp."




Stolen off the Megawords

COLOURS










As well as some classic though often recycled imagery from 80 Blocks, this clip has some flavoursome stills of skulls and nomads.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

MAYNARD IS A CREEP

FUNNY NOT FUNNY


I think I may be losing it, the fact that I find this video really funny may be proof enough.

FACEBOOK HACK UPDATE

Turns out 4chan initially hacked into a Christian University's server, got a load of usernames and passwords, and started to create havoc. The one I posted yesterday was just the first. Here are the links to the best of the others:
1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

They also hacked paypal accounts:

VIDEOTHUNDER HOLIDAY SQUAD '09

Best of Benidorm vids on youtube:


CON HEIR

Saturday, 22 August 2009

WHOOOPS........

Click on image below to enlarge it:


















Ironic internet forum terrorists 4chan went on a huge facebook hack recently; the above page was probably only a small consequence of their giggling evil. I do sympathise with poor Tracy, but just for some objectivity, here's a LINK to her facebook. The comments even by her friends are funny.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

INSIDE THE COMPOUND


"After seeing the commercial for the 2009 Juggalo Gathering, it was hard not to be curious about what going to it would be like. Derek Erdman & David W did just that and found Juggalos (and uh, Juggalettes) to be a mostly friendly bunch of people happy to be at a place that they can all their own for a weekend."

STRANGERZ


The people over at the blog Everythingisterrible have really outdone themselves with this upload. I'm sure that (no matter how gay this sounds) everyone knows that EIT is your favourite bloggers favourite blog, but this new video has to be the best thing they have ever dug up from wherever they dig this stuff up.

WILD DOGS


Dogs Attack Two Female Reporters - Watch more Funny Videos

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

THE FORTY MILLION POUND DIAMOND HEIST: A WITNESSES ACCOUNT


Let me set the scene told to me by an officer and a door man twenty minutes after the situation was "under control", before I get to my personal account of the event.

At around 4.30 pm on Thursday last, a taxi pulls up to the jewellers Graff, four men wearing clean cut suits and brandishing class and wealth step out of a taxi that had pulled up out side the door, getting out they headed towards the door of the jewellers, I might add that to get into Graff you have to pass through an air-locked entrance consisting of two sliding doors that are operated by a security guard, because of their appearance they gain unnoticed entry into the jewellers. Once all four of them have entered, they brandish in turn, a shotgun, a large matt black sledgehammer,  two grenades and a hand gun. Immediately shop staff and customers are made aware of  the presence of the four bandits, instructing staff to relinquish diamonds and jewels of worth one cannot consider. Content with the collection, they take a young female shop assistant at gun point with them as hostage, as a means of exiting the air-locked door.

Doors opening onto Old Bond St a navy blue BMW pulls up with seamless timing, forcing their hostage into the vehicle they glimpse a patrol car racing towards them, alerted by a member of staff inside Graff through the panic alarm button. A shot is fired towards the approaching patrol car, piercing through the quiet decadent street. racing down the street taking a left onto Stafford St and over Albermarle St they collide with a taxi, ramming its side attempting to create an obstruction for the pursuing police. Continuing down Stafford St and taking a left onto Dover St, heading towards your narrator. 

The shop that I work in has three windows arching onto the street allowing for a panning vision of life unfolding outside our premise. Standing against the window, reflecting on what was still to be done that day, I heard a sound similar to the pop exhausted from a Ribena carton once flattened by a car tyre, then with unnatural rhythm the sound was heard again, peering out of the window I noticed a police car had pulled up to the junction of the two streets and was stationary. Nearer to the shop I saw a man running from a nattered and beaten bike parked outside of William Hill, as he ran two customers outside of a restaurant opposite us fled their outside table and flushed through the door of their cuisine providers. 

Looking back towards the bike, I considered that the panic induced was from fear that the motorbike was backfiring and would promptly explode. Beginning to consider the radius of impact from an explosion twenty metres away, out of instinct I ducked my body behind the windowsill, whilst keeping my head and hands propped up against the pane of glass, confident that my reflexes would allow my head to follow my body into possible useless protection. My vision still at street level watching the bike, my eyes suddenly registered a figure in a blue shirt and suit trousers running directly towards our shop, eventually noticing that in his right hand grip was what appeared to be a black hand gun. Realising that the spread of the bike possibly exploding might not have been my only concern. My manager of the shop instructed everyone to make immediate direction towards the basement, half way down the stairs I began to reconsider the importance of witnessing a scene of considerable cinematic quality, running with my back bent over into a crouch I made it back to the window to see an empty street, seconds passed before the peace was torn from any bewildered and petrified pedestrians, shop assistants and still digesting diners, three red route patrol cars flew past the window, silent sirens, empty lights, uninterested in counselling those traumatised by what they had witnessed. A solitary police car housing two sheet white frightened officers hummed outside our window, eventually getting out of their car, they struggled to the boot removing a bullet proof vest each. Protected from any stray bullets that might head their way they stood at the hood of the car peering at the two holes pierced with bullets. 

Just as the events had stolen all sound from the street, its departure soon caused flurries of shouting, screaming and other emotional outlets, bombarding the deserted officers with more public interaction than a patrol would possibly encounter and just as the voices grew louder with the confidence of safety a roar was heard from down the street, two huge police vans with "S.W.A.T." applied to their exteriors,  approached spilling Special Officers clad in black, concealed by balaclavas and wielding large automatic rifles or machine guns, occupied the street with undeniable efficiency. Confused by the necessity for such heavy response to a crisis that would without doubt travelled considerable distance from the scene. I realised that the blue BMW that they had driven was parked and abandoned outside our shop behind a black van, as the four bandits had jumped into another waiting getaway vehicle. shotguns, sledgehammers and apparent evidence were left in the car, though the Special Officers initial duty was to assume that the car may have been rigged, again we were fleeing to the basement. Sitting under a table I realised that it was quite unlikely I would survive the devastation a car bomb would created behind a lump of oak wood. I crept upstairs to be met by officers patrolling the streets in waves. I sat at the shop counter near the window and watched as they blue taped and then red taped the street off. Being inside a crime scene with no means of escape I stood in the door way and spoke to a girl from next door about what had ensued, comparing accounts.

At this point I must congratulate and thank those involved with the days events for developing a quiet day into one of my best.

For those who got away, 
I salute you.



I have yet to be asked to give my account by any law enforcer, so I thought that VT readers might appreciate the account.

I do not hold responsibility for the accounts told to me, I saw the events on Dover St.

INTRO JOY


Saturday, 8 August 2009

CRACK IS WACK (JUST SAY NO) PART 1


There are literally hundreds of Anti drug raps (mainly focusing on crack cocaine) from 1985-1988, as bad as the emergence of crack was for many people, at least it gave mediocre rappers a chance to get a 12" pressed.

I guess Kool Moe Dee's monster crack is one of the forerunners of the crack sound.

What a chorus on this one, the sound of a dulled out river barge fog horn, pumping out underneath the lyrical genuis of "get smart on the crack-a-lack crack crack crack crack crack-a-lack". I can't really tell if they are telling me to get wise to the dangers of crack, or they are urging me to go and take some, as in, hey man get hip to this new experience.

"Whats that on your shelf mark? Oh that, it's my old broken crack pipe" BTW Herb Powers WTF?

Just look at the line up for this album! An entire anti crack record featuring some of the shittiest rap music I have ever heard. Genuinely so bad it boggles the mind. This one is by a guy called Cal ET. Like many of these records, it is the chorus that pushes it into the realms of absurdity.

"Cee-rrr-aaa-cee-kay surely does not paaay" I like this one, I enjoy the sub par RUN DMC vocal interplay. I also think "J.C may be Jesus Christ himself rapping. I strongly recommend you listen to the taxi jacking story at 2:19. "No, you blew it".

Even though we posted this a couple of years ago on VT, I think it deserves to make another appearance given the subject matter.

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

BHOY BHANDS



Props to Pump That Jam; also for reminding me that the next video is 100% American boy band thug life (apart from the mixed race one who's Reebok classics, YSL and tight jeans show them all up to be English)

Monday, 3 August 2009

DEAR LORD THE TERRORDOMES ARE COMING



















Videotime, get your canned food and airguns ready, this is one of the headlines on the BBC news website:

Call for debate on killer robots

An international debate is needed on the use of autonomous military robots, a leading academic has said.

Noel Sharkey of the University of Sheffield said that a push toward more robotic technology used in warfare would put civilian life at grave risk.

Technology capable of distinguishing friend from foe reliably was at least 50 years away, he added.

hat physical distance from the actual theatre of war, he said, led naturally to a far greater concern: the push toward unmanned planes and ground robots that make their decisions without the help of human operators at all.

The problem, he said, was that robots could not fulfil two of the basic tenets of warfare: discriminating friend from foe, and "proportionality", determining a reasonable amount of force to gain a given military advantage.

"Robots do not have the necessary discriminatory ability," he explained.

"They're not bright enough to be called stupid - they can't discriminate between civilians and non-civilians; it's hard enough for soldiers to do that.

"And forget about proportionality, there's no software that can make a robot proportional," he added.

TWO TICKETS


The foulest Carol and Mr Henderson yet.

RIGHT WING ROAR

YEP

THE DING HAI EFFECT



















(From Wikipedia)

It is observed that whenever the Hong Kong actor Adam Cheng stars in a new television show, there is a sudden and unexplained drop in the market. This is still a popular topic amongst stock brokers, years after the drama series The Greed of Man was broadcasted in Hong Kong in October 1992. The effect is named after Ding Hai, the main character of the show, played by Adam Cheng. This strange phenomenon also created a career trough for Adam Cheng in Hong Kong during the 1990s, for the two over-the-air television stations in Hong Kong avoided using Cheng for its dramas, partly (if not completely) because they did not want to bear responsibility for a stock market crash.

A bit of Adam:

DO NOT WATCH IF YOU ARE SCARED OF SPIDERS

SLEBRITY ADVICES?